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why do people ask me to give you more time? it's really strange...to me this is almost not love anymore...

for times i really want to give up. i understand that feeling of wanting to let go when you love someone too much..becoz it hurts too much at the same time

since when did i become willing to use the word 'love'? this is weird..i can't believe it myself..but yea it's 'love' now rather than just 'like'

i just have to admit that i don't hv to courage to give up yet

but i'm dying

learn to live with failure

had the english debate selection for WORLDS competition last night. one of the crappiest debate i've done. reli disappointing. i've felt my own improvement since the term started, and the learning curve was supposing to be going up, but last night it just dropped so catastrophically.

so the lesson i learnt is that we have to live with failure and learn from failuer. nobody is perfect, and i shouldn't always expect too much from myself. it's good to aim high, i think...maybe just not that high.

meet-up with another 'mentor'

had a meeting with Mr. Kan from the jockey club together with some other ppl. thought it was a debriefing session only telling us how to do better in the interview. but then he said he was thinking of something like a mentorship programme. he said we can follow him or his other subordinates to meetings, trips or other work activities to learn. and if he thinks we have potential he can support us to do master or doctor.

don't know how serious he is, but at least i should try and be proactive about this. even if it's only a slight chance of being sponsored, why not try?

but that means i'll have to study hard...which i don't want to XD

Halloween + English Debate

Everyone is enjoying their Halloween somewhere with someone. i thought it was a pity that i had to go to english debate team practice. but soon i'm not complaining anymore. i like eng debate more and more. and today i could see my own improvemnt. became much more organized than before. and i'm glad that i have asked for the chance to practise.

people have also commented that i've done a good job, provided that i've limited content (which is not a good thing actually..haha). really glad with my improvement. good to see how eng debate is helping me to become more logical and think more critically.

someone told me she's got offer from UST to do Global Business but chose CU afterall becoz of relationship matter. i'm not her and so it's hard to put myself in her shoes to think her way, esp. when it comes to love things. but i just wonder if that's a good choice. i mean, with a rational thinking right now i would say i won't let love hinder my personal/career development. love is an important element in life, but it's not no.1. it's not sth substantial that one can totally trust or rely on. it changes so quickly that it can't guarantee you anythikng. i think i'd rather trust my own ability and put more effort on developing my future.

but i know there's no right or wrong in this field. maybe i'm making such comments this moment becoz i'm not in love. when i am, maybe i could be crazier. who knows.